Curt

Today, Curt stepped outside himself and looked at himself. He woke up fairly early because of a mild allergic reaction to the carrot almond butter he'd made the night before. He drank green tea, infused with lavender, and slipped back into a deep sleep. He did not dream. However, he did feel much better when he awoke, for the second time. He took his dog, Warden, on a brief walk, on account of the weather. It was sinisterly cold. The sun was out. But the cold mocked the sun, calling it a ludicrous temptation. Curt disagreed. He liked the sun. He did not like the cold. Warden liked the dead deer by the railroad tracks. He did not know about the sun or the cold because he recognized only what he wanted to recognize. He recognized the dead deer. And he liked it. Especially by the railroad tracks. It reminded him of.
Because Curt's sleep was interrupted, he was a bit grouchier than usual. He called his friend, Bailey, to see what Bailey was up to. Bailey said he was up to nothing, except laundry. Curt invited him over to play chess. Bailey said, "Sure." When Bailey arrived, Curt had had a cup of strong coffee, and his disposition was friendly enough and.
Bailey lost the first game of chess. But he won the second game. The two men were quiet throughout much of the games. Curt's brow was furrowed. Bailey's eyes were closed. Then, Bailey asked: "Are you happy, Curt?" And Curt said, "
After Bailey left, Curt walked around his house. He did not say anything. The furniture waited. But nothing. He sighed. He rubbed his chin. He wasn't feeling right. He wasn't sick. He wasn't angry. Maybe, he thought, he wasn't feeling right because he wasn't feeling at all. He washed a single dish for twenty minutes and tried counting his teeth with his tongue. He lost track when he reached the
Sometimes, Curt is happy. Sometimes, he is sad. He likes to believe that this is how everyone feels. Sometimes, he likes to stand in the corner of a room and watch. Just watch. He doesn't know what he watches. But he does. Sometimes, he forgets that he hasn't spoken a single word in a long time, and that people might think that there is something wrong. Sometimes, he wishes he could go back in time and do everything that he's done without ever having opened his mouth, except for eating and breathing through his mouth whenever he's gotten a cold. Sometimes, he wishes he didn't know anyone. Sometimes, he thinks that he will leave one day, like he always does everyday, but really leave. Sometimes, when he looks at you, you think there is someone in there, but he is looking at you and not you. Sometimes, he thinks someone will understand what he means when he says,
But they always say, "What?"
And he says something else.
Curt steps inside himself again and he sleeps.