Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Lying

It was terribly cold this morning. I went to the grocery store to pick up some ingredients to make a new butter--peppermint butter. Even the scarf, wrapped around my head, could not keep me warm.

The peppermint butter turned out okay. I had trouble finding something to pair it with, but settled on a rye chocolate raisin bread.

On my walk to the store, a woman asked me for change and I ignored her. I always feel uncomfortable when this happens. What am I supposed to do? I walked a different route on my way back, but there she was, waiting, her hands out in front of her. She asked me if I had any change, and I said no, sorry.

The chocolate raisin butter had a strange texture, and all I could find to slather it onto was a peppermint gingerbread cookie. But in the end, it was worth the trip.

On my walk to the store a woman with a silver hair growing from her chin asked me for change and I gave her a quarter. She thanked me. On my walk back, there she was, waiting, her hands out in front of her. She asked me if I had any change and I ignored her. I always feel uncomfortable when this happens. What am I supposed to do?

It was cold this morning. But the scarf my sister knit, kept me warm.

After I made the butter, I read some Dostoevsky. Ever since I've come home from prison, I've been doing a lot of reading. Guy's on vacation. He's gone to Miami to celebrate the New Year.

On my walk to the store, I stopped and gave a woman a dollar. She asked me why and I told her that I wanted to give her a dollar. She wouldn't accept my dollar. I wanted to know more about this woman and her silver hair growing from her chin. I could tell that I'd made her uncomfortable.

Dostoevsky writes:

"We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken."

I wonder if this has happened to someone who's met me, before we've even exchanged greetings.

What does one think about Curt Jimenez before knowing Curt Jimenez?

What do I even think about myself?

This blog is a huge step for me, and that's the truth.

I did go to the grocery store. I did bump into a woman. I did make butter. But what do these things mean? Tell me, from these facts, how I feel?

I am happy.

1 comment:

  1. Wonder what she would say if you gave her a dollar and a razor?

    ReplyDelete