"We are unusual, tragic, and alive"

I found a green plastic toy soldier on the sidewalk. Actually, Warden did. Warden tried to eat the green plastic toy soldier, but I fished the soldier from his mouth and wiped Warden's slobber off and looked at the soldier in my palm, small and daring. He held two guns, one in each hand. He was brave. He was brave and daring. I looked around in the grass and in the street, to see if his unit was around, staking out. But there were no other green plastic soldiers. And then I knew that the soldier was a very brave and daring soldier. And he was in my palm, his guns threatening my thumb and pinky!

I have not been brave or daring. I don't think I've ever been brave or daring. What makes a man brave or daring? I used to think that a brave and daring man was a man who didn't cry when he wanted to, so I didn't cry for a long time. But that's not a brave or daring man. That's a man who's trying to be brave and daring, but doesn't understand that hurting plays a big role in being brave and daring.

You know what Homes told me? He told me that his grandpap raised him and his older brother and they worked on a peach orchard, all three of them, together. Before Homes was locked up, he took care of his grandpap because his brother was a drunk who beat his wife and was never around. Homes couldn't stand that, nor could his grandpap. And when his grandpap had a stroke, Homes was there, spooning him applesauce and drinking the morning's coffee with his grandpap before getting on with the work on the orchard. And when his grandpap died, Homes said that he was just sleeping. Even when the doctor arrived and felt for a pulse and told Homes that his grandpap had died, Homes said that he was just sleeping. He told the doctor to go home, that he would take care of his grandpap now, that things were as they should be. When the men came to take the body away, Homes locked the door and told the men to get on out, to leave him and his granpap alone, but they forced the door open and Homes fought the men and cried hoarsely as they took his grandpap away. He'd never cried in front of so many men, never cried that way. Crying so hard it hurts, like you're crying out your insides so that when there's nothing left for you to do but stop, you feel empty.

A brave and daring man is a man who can tell this kind of story and make another man cry. And I did cry.

I cried just thinking about it with the toy soldier in my hand and Warden howled and Regrette pulled on her leash and I put the soldier back down on the sidewalk, brave and daring, because I'm sure the soldier's seen so many things, heartbreaking things, things that would make any man cry. I saluted the soldier.

And I said something I'd read by Dave Eggers, "We are unusual, tragic, and alive."

It seemed like the right thing to say.