Message

I don't know why I didn't notice earlier.

Maybe it was because I felt like I couldn't move when I woke up this morning. My muscles, taut with soreness, slowly recoiling from the dirt I carried for Ronny. Maybe it was because the diner was busy, the Saturday morning crowd, loud and impatient. Belle Star demanding dishes! Dishes Curt! Keep moving! Raymond asking me questions I don't have time to answer. Don't have time to think about. Maybe it was because I was worried about Warden. He hadn't gone to the bathroom since 9:00 am yesterday. What if he's sick? What if he goes to the bathroom in the apartment? Maybe it was because it was uncomfortably warm outside and my shirt was clinging to my back. Maybe it was the neighbors, screaming. A baby crying. Maybe it was because I was tired. Maybe.

But when I finally checked my phone, a missed call and a message from my sister. A message she left in the morning.

I don't talk to my sister very often. I see her even less. But when we do get together, she says, "Curt, are you alright?" She says, "Curt, you wanna talk about something?" She says, "Curt, you got anything on your mind?" She says, "You're quiet." I guess she feels like I need a mother figure in my life. I guess she thinks I have no one to talk to. I guess she feels like I feel like I didn't get enough time with Mom. Do I feel that way?

I tell her, in one breath: "I"mfinethanksforasking, reallyIam."

Do I feel that way?

I listen to the message. Her voice sounds different. Her voice trembles. I want to ask her if she's alright. If she wants to talk about something. I want to say, "I'm here."

"Curt," she says, "call me when you get this. It's about Dad."