Oh! That I was where I would be!

So, Bailey and I started a chess game last night. 3 hours later, chess club was over, but we were still playing. We copied the board down and agreed to continue the game today.

Bailey is funny. He's competitive, but in a nice way. You can tell he hates to lose, but never wants to be a jerk about it. He wrote this on a piece of paper and folded it up and handed it to me:

Oh that I was where I would be,
Then I would be where I am not,
Here I am where I must be,
Go where I would, I can not.

So I went over to Bailey's today. He introduced me to Public Enemy today. I think I have a new favorite song:

I've never really listened to hip hop, other than coming out of people's cars.

Bailey had a lot to drink while I was at his apartment. I guess I did too. He talked a lot about pragmatism. I never heard of pragmatism before. Pragmatism, Bailey kept saying, is the difference between what is useful and what is true. This is a "for instance", I came up with, based on how he was explaining it: when I was at my lowest in prison, contemplating suicide, and the only thing that kept me going was thinking that the man I shot was in heaven and that I was forgiven by him, even if heaven doesn't exist objectively, it is useful for me to believe it, because it kept me alive, and therefore it doesn't really matter if it is really true or not. Bailey said that example was on the right track. I don't think he understands pragmatism either.

When I got home, I thought about this singer, Vic Chesnutt. He killed himself on Christmas day. He was in a bad accident when he was 18. He was driving drunk. The rest of his life he was a partial quadriplegic. He had just a little bit of control over his limbs. I wonder how he felt about pragmatism. He was Guy's favorite singer. I liked him too.

Bailey beat me. He was in my head.