Fate.

I couldn't sleep last night, so I got up and did some impulsive (compulsive?) cleaning. What did I find? A lottery ticket. I don't play the lottery. This was part of a Christmas gift from somebody, maybe several years back. I remember as a kid, my dad would pick me up after school and we would stop at our little town's gas station. My Dad would buy 10 dollars worth of lottery tickets, every day. He never bought me a Pepsi. He never won. I don't play the lottery.

But this ticket was a winner. I remember scratching it off. "Free ticket" it said. I said to myself, I have a vision quest to fund, I should get my free ticket and see what happens. So early this morning, I filled the car with gas and went in to pay for it and grab my coffee. I struck up a conversation with Sayed the gas station guy. Sayed is painfully nice to me. He is a good man. I gave him my ticket to redeem. He said, "Curt this ticket is two years old! How have you had it for so long? I cannot take it. Expired!"

For some reason, I got really angry. But I don't handle anger like I used to. Maybe I was just tired. This is what I did, if you'll believe it: I pulled out a 50 dollar bill from my pocket, my grocery money for the week, and politely asked Sayed to give me 50 dollars worth of instant tickets. He seemed to want to talk me out of it, but he didn't. He asked me what I would like. "Give me 24 Lucky Dog Doublers and one Win For Life." This was also a spontaneous decision.

I took my tickets, and went to work. I'm not ready to scratch them.

After work, I took Warden to the park. Not being a particularly cold day, I sat down and enjoyed the sunshine. An adorable young woman with big sad eyes sat down next to me and started talking to me. "There is nothing worse than a broken heart," she said.

"It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all," I responded, without thinking. I am a poor casual conversationalist. Where was this going?

"Do you believe in fate?" she asked me.

"Have you read Leibniz?" I responded. I have not read Leibniz, but I've heard he had some interesting things to say about predestination.

"Leibniz was a hack." I couldn't disagree, but I wanted to.

"A hack?"

"Hume, he had things to say." Hume? I had to go.

I gave her a Luck Dog Doubler, and wished her luck.

Then, I came home. What happened today?