Curt Jimenez Attends a Talk. Thinks.

It takes a lot of energy to imagine how things appear after looking at them from all angles and then not having the pleasure of watching them, not even watching, but running your eyes across them, anymore. Or just observing these things, with multiple surfaces, from one angle. That is difficult.

I think I understand.

This idea of imagining the entire dimensions of something from nothing or from one angle is not my own, but that of a woman who was talking about her films on radiation and plum. I've never seen her films. I don't remember her name. But I remember she was insistent that plums could not be more than one, not under any circumstances. Therefore, several plums were several plum. That, too, I think I understand.

I went to her talk because I felt especially worldly today, and because of the tornado watch. What would I do if I saw a tornado? I wouldn't watch it.

After the talk, I tried to imagine a tornado from one angle. It came to me like this: how I used to draw flags on top of castles, which I also used to draw. The tornado was a flat triangle. Then, I removed the lines from the triangle because tornadoes don't have solid walls, and imagined lines like eyebrows. My tornado did not move. It did not make a noise. It was difficult to understand.

Second Route

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. It was a c r a z y day. I don't remember much of it, but I know that I'm exhausted.

The Ghost was giving me a hard time today, saying that I wasn't finishing my second route early enough and that people were starting to complain. I told him I was doing the best that I could. He said he'd give me another week to improve and if not, he was going to take my second route away. I honestly don't know how I'm going to get any faster, I already feel like I'm going as fast as I can. I just want a vacation. I just want to go on this vision quest.

Today, I talked to Stella. I held the urn and asked her what I should do. I said, "Stella, what should I do?" But, she didn't say anything. I guess it's one of those things I have to figure out on my own. What should I do? What am I doing? When I was a kid, I wanted to chase tornadoes. When someone asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said I wanted to be a storm chaser. But now, I don't know what I want to do with my life. All I know is that the days are passing and I'm not getting any younger!

What I think is that one should do what one wants to do and do things as they want one day at a time. Whew! How convoluted, eh? Let me give you a for instance. Today, I wanted to make butter, so I did (it was delicious! (it was a blue cheese butter!)) I started reading a book and I didn't like it, so I stopped because I wanted to stop (it was about some big house with seven or eight gables). I wanted to take a walk to the library, so I did.

I just have to take things one day at a time. Tomorrow, I'm going to do the best I can with my second route. We'll see what happens.