Relativity

If you are worried about me, don't be. So many have it worse than me, why should I pretend that my suffering is special, that it makes me exceptional? Think about it--I've never sold my body for money or drugs, I almost always have enough to eat (sometimes very delicious things), and I have a roof over my head, for the time being at least, even if there is a little drip drip drip that I can hear but can't see that torments me just a little bit before I fall asleep at night. Perhaps my ceiling will collapse, and I will sue my landlord! What a boon that would be.

Warden had a few great years with me, and then it was suddenly over, before hip dysplasia could set in, before his teeth had rotted so irreparably that I would have to throw his kibble in the blender. He would regret then never having listened to my urgings for him to chew his food, if only for the sake of his teeth. But he took such pleasure in scarfing! He tried so hard, and in the end, it never even mattered!

What further ailments and sufferings await me, if I don't get so lucky to be hit by a car, or better yet to just *poof* have the old ticker poop out on me in the middle of the night?

If this is punishment for wrongs committed in the past, why are there such bright moments in between the miseries? Is it just to make the little hells be magnified? If it was all just suffering, would it feel so bad?

Every time I start to believe that everything is relative, I realize fully that it's not. And then the knife turns again, a little deeper into my soul.