Mistakes

When Ronny says, "Curt, it could have happened to anybody," I nod. Of course, that just isn't true. I screwed up, as I have countless times before. I was, as my father never hesitated to drop into conversation, a mistake. I am defined by the mistakes I have made. I am a cruel joke. Why would anyone want to have anything to do with me? This is why I shouldn't leave my apartment. Regrette and Warden are surely living on borrowed time.

I can only persevere.

I can only persevere.

I mean, yes, it could have happened to anyone. And anyone could have done the things I have done in my past. Anybody could be where I am now. It's true but it is not true. I killed Vernon. I killed Tony. It is not a coincidence that not many people want to have anything to do with me.

Considering what could happen, what is the benefit? My cunning wit? My boyish charm?