violet, violet

After all that time we had put in, Ronny planted his lettuces too close together. But the lavender was doing just fine.

"Can't do anything with lavender," I told Ronny. Do you know what lavender is used for? Evelyn, a woman I dated for a week or two, used to slip me baked goods with lavender. "For your...libido," she used to tell me.

Getting soil to "produce" isn't an easy thing to do. Heck, it takes time and patience, if you know what I mean.

I think it's funny that I'm better at chess and yet Ronny is a better gardener. Jimenez' aren't known for their produce. Killing, maybe, but not produce.

Let me tell you something. More isn't always better, you know what I mean? No?

Once, Mom got upset and told us, "you reap what you sow," and we laughed and said that that was something old country people said. People like that are the only people here, it seems. Quinn, my Dad's friend, was always mean to Mom, in spite of everything. Rock and a hard place, that's where mom was. Sometimes, there's just not much you can say. Though, sometimes, there is too much to say and no way to say it. Ultimately, it's just winners and losers, and don't get caught on the wrong side of that line.

Violet is in Ronny's garden. When Ronny starts talking about violet, he gets emotional. Except when he talks about Violet, his first wife. "You can never understand," he says to me. Zoom into

and zoom out of things and you will understand something, I guess.