Audition!

It's funny what an exclamation point will do to a man!

I was walking Warden when I saw a piece of pink paper on the ground. It read: Can you sing? Can you dance? Casting for Lionel Bart's musical masterpiece Oliver! March 26th 2010 at the Polish Dance Hall at noon.

I can't sing. I can't dance.

I don't particularly enjoy musicals, but the exclamation point following Oliver suggested spontaneity, urged me into a state of impassioned excitement. Lionel Bart's musical masterpiece wasn't just Oliver, it was Oliver! I picked up the pink paper, looked at my watch, and announced to a woman carrying a terracotta pot passing by that "I [was] going to audition for Oliver!!!"

I was five minutes late to the auditions. I wanted to trim my mustache, look my best. When I opened the doors to the Polish Dance Hall, there were three women sitting in lawn chairs in the middle of the room, and a dozen or so people standing by the stage. A woman with large lips was singing, accompanied by a short man playing an upright piano with a can of Pledge beside him on the piano bench. When she finished, no one clapped.

This audition was serious.

"Who are you?" one of the women sitting in the lawn chairs asked. I tried to hide my excitement. The three women were identical! They were triplets! Except one of them had a beautiful mole where a dimple might have been. I liked her best.

"Hi! I'm Curt! I'm auditioning for Oliver!!!"

"No need to scream, we can hear just fine," the moled women said.

"Stand with the others," another triplet said and then, "Next!"

The short man at the piano sprayed Pledge on the wood and wiped it with the sleeve of his shirt. A boy walked onto stage and sang a song I'd never heard before and the short man played as if he'd heard it a million times. This went on and on, until finally, it was my turn to audition.

I walked onto stage and announced my name.

"And what will you be singing for us today?" a voice said from the lawn chairs.

Singing? For nearly 20 minutes, I listened to other people as they sang, and the thought that I needed a song to sing never crossed my mind!

"Umm," I said. I felt cold, then hot. My palms began to sweat. I started to shake. I'd come this far only to fail!

Then, I heard the song in my head. In 1986, a new inmate, Chris Buccoci, sang this song over and over again, even after being threatened by several inmates. "Do you know 'All I Need is a Miracle'?" I asked the short man sitting at the piano. He nodded and started playing.

I sang:

I said go if you wanna go,
Stay if you wanna stay
I didn't care if you hung around me
I didn't care if you went away
And I know you were never right
I'll admit I was never wrong
I could never make up my mind
I made it up as I went along
And though I treated you like a child
I'm gonna miss you for the rest of my life

All I need is a miracle,
all I need is you
All I need is a miracle,
all I need is you
All I need is a miracle,
all I need is you.

I sang my heart out. I crossed the stage, waited with the other auditioners, and five minutes later, my name wasn't called to perform a monologue...or to dance. Was I crushed? For a whole 20 seconds!

I am only one man. Curt. G. Jimenez. Time goes on and on. My life will end and yet time will have just begun for someone else, someone meant to play the part of Oliver in Oliver!

Maybe, one day, there will be a musical called Curt Jimenez. No, Curt Jimenez!!!