some times

Sometimes, the words come easy. Sometimes, you get the first sentence down, and everything else comes out freely, like a sailboat on a windy day. Sometimes, something happens in a day, and you have something to say, and it feels important, and people laugh and someone says, "great post Curt", and you say "thanks, it felt good to write it!" and you sleep a little easier that night. Sometimes you meet somebody interesting, and they inspire you. Sometimes, you create somebody on paper to have a conversation with that you couldn't have in real life. Sometimes, you imagine sharing a life, and maybe a bed with that person, and you smile thinking of all the wonderful moments you might have together.
Sometimes you think of your dead dog, and you remember, and you cry, and Warden comes over and starts licking your face. Sometimes, butter is enough to make you happy. Sometimes, you have butter but no toast. Sometimes, you have toast but no butter!
Sometimes, you go get a fish sandwich with someone, perhaps a family member, and you sit and have a nice long conversation with that person. And then, out of nowhere, that person starts saying things, hurtful things, and you just sit there, and you take it, and you fight back a little bit, but most everything this person says is at least somewhat true, and you don't know what to say, you've got nothing to say, and you wish Mom was there, and she's not, she's gone forever, and it hurts, it hurts, it hurts more than you could have ever imagined words ever hurting. And you want to leave, but you can't, and you're fifty years old but you feel like you're twelve again, and nobody loves you, and most likely nobody ever will. And people are staring at you, they're whispering, and you know they know what you've done, where you've been, how you're the kind of person they warn their children about.
But you're not that kind of person, but nobody knows it. You've changed, you've made mistakes, but you've changed, and people that know who you are now, and not who you were then, know that you're not that guy from the 6 0'clock news, you're that simple-living, happy-go-lucky, butter blogger. And maybe you are okay. And maybe it doesn't matter what people say about you, it only matters how you're living your life now.

Maybe you should shave your mustache.