had a harpoon gun, used to shoot spears into trees, or bales of straw, with a ten gallon hat on his head, screaming he was Tom Mix, godd****t!
had a pet fish named Honus, after Honus. Used to throw chicken bones into the tank for Honus to eat, and later, we fished them out, and HE really believed Honus ate them.
had a trick, called "Crack the Egg," in which he would pretend to crack an egg on our heads, spreading his fingers out like yolk, except one time, he actually took a real egg and cracked it open on his son's head, then pissed his pants because he was so drunk. Later, since it was the 4th, he lit a sparkler and tossed it into the fish tank, for Honus to play with, and my mother came to take me home. My friend, he smelled like eggs for a long time afterwards, no matter how many times he washed his head. Everywhere we went, someone said, What's that smell? After that, my friend took to hard-boiling all the eggs in his house.
had a son, who was my best friend. We played and played, and when we did, we could almost forget his father outside, screaming, I'm Tom Mix!
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