End-Life Crisis?

I wonder when I'll have my mid-life crisis?

At my age, I should have, or should be going through this "crisis," but I managed to get myself locked up and so, maybe, I'll have this introspective meltdown when I'm 70!

What kind of tattoo will I get? A portrait of Stella.
What kind of car will I purchase on impulse? A 1968 Plymouth Barracuda.
Who will I have a steamy romance with? Belle Star.
Who will I go see in concert? Lady Gaga.
What new hobby will I take up? Trick question. Nothing's as neat-o as making butter!

On a more serious note:

Sometimes, in prison, I would receive letters from my sister. They weren't long. Her handwriting looked tiny on the piece of paper, unfolded in my lap. Things are fine, she wrote once. That was all. Mom died, in another. That was all she needed to say and I understood. Revealing much else would have been too painful, too confusing.

There was one letter though, three pages front and back, covered in writing. In this letter, my sister wrote about Dad and how strange he was acting. He's going through a mid-life crisis and I don't know what to do, she wrote. My father, a very private and stoic man, got a tattoo in a very provocative place on his body. He was in a bar fight (in which he lost), and told the neighborhood children to "Suck it!"

My sister's letter ended with:

Dear God, Dad just pulled up to the house wearing something that would put him in jail!